The Crystal Ball – 29 July 2010

Welcome to the first edition of the Crystal Ball, where I tell you definitively what will be happening in the world over the coming days.  You have been warned.

The Los Angeles Dodgers will not be able to catch San Diego, and will fail to make the playoffs.  Again.

My class on the History of Money will attract more students than my Thomas Jefferson Youth Certification class this fall.  The Leadership Education Academy will be a resounding success, mostly because Janette Wagner, the organizer, is one of those hyper-capable people you hope to have as your friend.

The new Wall Street Reform Act will increase the fees you pay for credit cards, restrict credit for small businesses, and raise mortgage interest rates.  This will happen gradually over the next several months to two years, so that it will be possible to blame the banks for the increases.

The Obama Administration will blame the banks for the increases.

Mortgage brokerage firms will close in record numbers in 2011, and the number of active loan officers in the US will decline by another 50% from current numbers.  In case you were unaware of this, the new financial regulations make it almost impossible for brokers to survive, due to the nature of the restrictions on loan officer compensation.  In one example, the requirement that a loan officer be compensated only from one source – either the borrower or the lender, but not both – means that either your mortgage will carry a lower interest rate and huge closing costs, or a huge rate and low closing costs, but nothing in between.  And oh, that compensation cannot be based on the interest rate, although that’s how the BANK is compensated.

Mortgage lending will continue to increase in difficulty.  Credit will be further restricted, especially to marginal borrowers.  Loan costs will rise further.  Incidences of mortgage fraud will skyrocket.  The correlation will equal causation, but no one in any major publication or network will understand that.  It goes without saying that no one in the government will.

The Republican Party will take control of the House of Representatives in November.  The Senate will remain in Democrat hands.  Harry Reid will survive.

I will become Foursquare Mayor of Emmett’s and Ethel’s.

Mortgage interest rates will remain below 5% until November.  The GOP victory will cause them to rise, because a GOP win will be viewed as good for business – the stock market – and bad for government – the bond market.  Money will move from bonds into stocks and rates will rise.  The rise will be seen as a bad thing by most people, and will make possible charges that the Republicans have screwed up the only good part of the economy before they even take office.

The Obama Administration will charge the Republicans with screwing up the economy before they’ve even taken office.

My book, The Six Channels of Marketing, will be completed, and over 100 people will have enrolled in the PerfectHome program, by Hallowe’en.

The Utah Jazz will fail to sign another free agent.  Mehmet Okur will report to camp but be physically unable to perform until midseason.  The lack of a long-range shooter will restrict the effectiveness of the Jazz low-post players.  By December the Jazz will nonetheless be second behind Oklahoma City in the Midwest Division.

My sister Diana’s children will both sleep through the night – the same night – by Labor Day.

The final book of the Hunger Games Trilogy, Mockingjay, will deservedly become a New York Times bestseller, despite (because of?) its highly anarchic political bent.  Someone will be smart enough to see a gigantic business opportunity in the production of mockingjay pins.  An entire generation of young adults will be un-indoctrinated, and dedicate their lives to the preservation of individual liberty.  And the world will be saved.  So you see, there’s nothing to worry about.

Your predictions are welcome in the comments, and you may also submit additional topics for me to answer with a gaze into the Crystal Ball.  Which I predict the next edition of in 30 days.

3 Responses to “The Crystal Ball – 29 July 2010”

  • Fascinating.

    Tell me, oh sage one, will I ever get into nursing school? Will I ever find an agent interested in representing my book(s)? If so, will they ever succeed in getting a publishing house (other than yours) interested in publishing my book(s)?

    Oh and, what’s for dinner?

  • Catherine says:

    Ooo Oooo…I do actually know what’s for dinner. Does that make me a crystal ball reader too?

    But just for good measure, Who will be the coach of the US Men’s Soccer Team starting Jan. 1?

  • chrisjones says:

    I consult the spirits…

    Ah! They speak! Yes, Ms. Wonderland, you will get into nursing school, and then you will wonder why you did. You will find an agent for your book(s), or, more accurately, an agent will find you. They will indeed find a publishing house interested in publishing them. It will not be Random House. That is all I may tell you. Too much knowledge of the future would not be good for you.

    Catherine, the head coach of the USMT on January 1 will be…oh, come on. You need a crystal ball for this? Nobody is firing Bob Bradley. But should they? Ah! Now THAT is a worthy question…but no. The spirits have withdrawn.

    But dinner was delicious, they say.

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