Here’s How to Fix the TSA Problem, In Case You Were Interested

Most people agree that it’s important to have security on airplanes. Most people are also overly terrorized by the risks involved in air travel, but that’s normal and happens with a lot of other things, too. Even those that are complaining about the new TSA procedures are not generally advocating that we have no security in our airways.

Here’s the problem. The airplanes are the property of Southwest. The security is the property of the government. That’s it in a nutshell.

Try this on: the government gets out of the security game altogether. But, because there is a potential security risk to the nation as a whole if someone unauthorized gets control of one of those flying bombs, the government maintains a fund, which the airlines have to pay into, to indemnify the country and to provide response and security for the rest of us if the airlines lose control of a plane. The amount the airline has to pay depends on the level of security the airline maintains, sort of like an insurance premium – healthy people that exercise and don’t smoke pay less, drug-abusing obese skyscraper window-cleaners pay more.

How would that change things?

First off, the airlines would become responsible for their own security. And if you think that the TSA has invasive searches, wait until you see what the airlines would come up with on their own. Except. If Southwest has the same procedure we feature now at an airport near you, but Delta has a different procedure that does not involve proctology, more people will fly Delta. Delta therefore is going to come up with that less-invasive procedure. But then, the government is going to levy a stiff fee for reduced security. So Delta will come up with a procedure – and submit it to not only pre-testing, but random testing in the field and undercover checks – that is both less invasive AND more secure, because that’s where the money is. Major corporations are very, very good at going where the money is.

Very quickly, you’d have better security at the airport, with dramatically reduced invasiveness. And in the meantime, the anger of the populace would be focused on the stupid and lazy airlines, whichever ones those were, and not at the government, which is a monopoly. There’s no way around them. You know how the government says that monopolies are bad because they harm consumers in a dozen different ways? And this doesn’t apply to the government monopoly because why, exactly? Governments are not out for money? They’re not staffed by people?

Government does not innovate. It will NEVER improve the process at the airport. Never. But one year with the system I describe above and the US would have the fastest, cheapest, and least-invasive security procedures in the world, and the system would provide ACTUAL SECURITY, instead of the security theater that is now provided by the TSA.

Which, again, means it will never happen. But I thought we might want to cut right to the solution, for those that are tired of the endless and pointless wrangling over having the family jewels groped so we can go visit grandma. There’s a way out, if we want one.

Leave a Reply